15 dumbest things said at job interviews
July 30, 2009 by Kim DustmanPosted in: Hiring, Latest News & Views
We’ve all put our foot in our mouth at one time or another, but you’d think job applicants would know better.
Regardless of nerves or an outgoing personality, some lines just make you wonder how candidates made it this far. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s best not to forget a healthful dose of tact. Here are 15 of the most memorable interview responses from real people, compiled by CareerBuilder.com:
1. Q: Why did you leave your last job?
A: “I have a problem with authority.”
2. Q: What are your hobbies and interests?
A: [He said] ‘Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single — if you ladies know what I’m saying.’ Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, ‘I particularly like blondes.‘”
3&4. Q: Do you have any questions?
A: “Can we wrap this up fairly quickly? I have someplace I have to go.”
A: “If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?”
5. Q: Why should we hire you?
A: “I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time.”
6. Q: Why are you leaving your current job?
A: “Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building.”
7. Q: Why are you looking for a job?
A: “Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job.”
8. Q: Why do you want to work for us?
A: “Just for the benefits.”
9. Q: What are your assets? (as in strengths)
A: “Well, I do own a bike.”
10. Q: What are your weaknesses?
A: “I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.”
11. Q: When have you demonstrated leadership skills?
A: “Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that.”
12. Q: Use three adjectives to describe yourself
A: “I hate questions like this.”
13. Q: Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it
A: “I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.”
14. Q: Have you submitted your two weeks’ notice to your current employer?
A: “What is two weeks’ notice? I’ve never quit a job before, I’ve always been fired.”
15. Q: Random responses
A: “May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night.“
Tags: interview, job candidates, questions
July 30th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
The best one I can remember is: Why should we hire you? The answer was “I had a dream, and an angel came to me, telling me I should take this job. If an angel told me, you really should hire me!!!”
July 31st, 2009 at 8:43 am
#10 and #14 are classic. I made a joke in an interview for an HR manager position (I still work here) their statement was: You will need to successfully pass a drug screen and background check. I replied “Oh Ok I hope the fact that my ex boyfriend went “missing” isn’t on there” At first they looked at me all seroiusly, and I said “I’m joking” and then they started laughing. It did not do too much damage since I got offered the position 2 days later. I normally wouldn’t make some crazy comment like that but I had a pretty good idea about the Administrators who were interviewing me and they were joking the whole time throughout the interview.
I won’t ever use that joke again though.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:57 am
For our online applications, I use a screening questionaire. One of the questions is “Why do you know about [our company]?” and their answer was, “I know that you are looking to fill a position, and I know I need a job”. One of the reasons I continued to look . . . . .
July 31st, 2009 at 8:57 am
I ask applicants, “What are your employment goals?” I received one memorable answer, “To retire.” He was only about 30 years of age. So, I asked, “What are your employment goals between now and retirement?” He answered, “Get married, buy a house and have a few kids.” At that point I gave up.
July 31st, 2009 at 9:13 am
It’s just like Ron White says, “You can’t FIX stupid”.
July 31st, 2009 at 9:22 am
During a math question, we were coaxing an applicant toward the answer to the following problem:
Normally a shirt is $240, today it is on sale for 30% off, what is the new price?
After scribbling down several incorrect answers, we got to the point of “Okay, if I laid 100 $1 bills on this table, and said you could have 30% of them, how much money would you have?” The applicant quickly answered “Oh, 3 and some change” Wow.
July 31st, 2009 at 10:47 am
We were interviewing for a vacancy and one applicant made her statement before she even entered the building. When she arrived she parked her shiny BMW right out front for all to see with the license plate number H8 2 WRK !
July 31st, 2009 at 11:46 am
So hilarious!! Thanks for making my Friday, All!
July 31st, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I am in the construction industry and one of my routine questions is ” What is the most dangerous or unsafe condition you have seen or been a part of?”
The guy answered, “”having unprotected sex”.
Maybe he did it at a jobsite.
Nice way to end off the week!
July 31st, 2009 at 3:46 pm
While interviewing an underqualified applicant for an electronics repair job, I asked the question, “what happens in a TV set between the time you turn it on and the time the picture appears?” The applicant, knowing that he probably wasn’t going to get the job said “I go to the refrigerator and get a sandwich and a beer”.
August 5th, 2009 at 8:35 am
What would you like to be doing in five years (construction)?
A: I need to start taking it easy, so I want a desk job like yours.
August 5th, 2009 at 8:48 am
My most memorable was for an entry level maintenance position and I asked “so tell me about the gap of employment you had between job A and job B”. His answer: “Well you know how 9 out of 10 bank robbers get away with it, well…I didn’t and had to do 4 yrs in prison for armed robbery”. Then when he got a sense that the interview wasn’t going so well after that I ask “is there anything that we didn’t ask you that you feel is important for us to know in making this hiring decision?” and he said “Well, I’m not sure you’re going to hire me and I think it’s unfair, it’s like the time when I was towing a guy’s car and he swung at me and I got the assault charge just because the police saw my size 12 footprint on his chest (on the shirt)!”. Ummm that pretty much summed up the interview.
August 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
A male supervisor was sitting in on my interview with a young lady interviewing for a Customer Service job. The interview was scheduled with the young lady a week prior to the interview. As she was seated in my office, she must have noticed the look on my face when I saw how inappropriately she was dressed for the interview – shorts, tank top and flip-flops. She commented, “I was in a hurry this morning. I guess I should have taken time to shave my legs, huh.” We made the interview very short.
August 5th, 2009 at 8:55 am
My favorite was at the end of a so-so interview, I informed the woman of our pre-employment drug testing policy and asked her, “If I send you for drug test, will you be able to pass?”
Answer: “Well I smoked pot a couple weeks ago, but I only smoke pot like once or twice a month, so I should be able to pass your drug test without any problems.”
I informed the woman that the interview was over and escorted her out the exit door.
August 5th, 2009 at 8:56 am
When asked if he had any weaknesses, I had an applicant say “I really have trouble getting up in the morning.” The same applicant also responded to a question about his interests by saying, “Well, I really like to play video games.”
August 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Q: So, tell me about your experience as marketing manager at [very prestigious organization]. I’m sure that must have been quite interesting.
A: Well, actually, the fact that you bring that up shows my skill at creating the image. The name [name of organization] draws interest, but the way I describe the tasks on my resume is what drew you in and caused you to ask about it. I am glad you brought it up.
Follow-up Q: I don’t, uh, I guess I’m not following you here. You did work for [name of organization], didn’t you?
Final Answer: No, I was unemployed during that period. But I continued to hone my skills…{not sure exactly what he was saying after that point}…
The interview ended moments later.
August 5th, 2009 at 10:04 am
One of the best one’s I remember is during an interview for a receptionist, we asked the applicant what they do during the slow times, and they replied, “I tend to FALL ASLEEP when I’m not busy.”
August 5th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I’ve got one that’s tuff to top. When addressing the fact that an applicant (for a construction job at a school) had checked YES to the question (on an application) Have you ever been convicted of a felony? The applicant responded with something to the effect “Well it wasn’t really kidnapping, the @#%$&/ owed me $18,000.”
August 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I asked an applicant for a customer service position if she had any particularly strong skills. She said “I can read the thoughts of animals. You know, cats and dogs and house pets.” She had seen a picture of a cat in my office and proceeded to tell me in great detail what cats think and feel. That particular skill was not required, so she did not get the job.
August 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
My favorite was a woman who decided she should pull out her portfolio from her purse and proceeded to make her purse bark – though she actually did the barking and moved the opening of her purse like it was a mouth.
August 5th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
#10 reminds me of something I was told when I wrote a story about job interview horror stories. She said she interviewed someone who wrote things like “bite me” in his application (instead of his educational information, phone number, etc.). When she mentioned it, he got really angry and had to be escorted from the building. Some of these folks really are scary.
August 6th, 2009 at 6:34 am
We had a Quality Manager that used to ask a question that I didn’t particularly care for and had told him that on more than one ocassion. However, he insisted on continuing to ask it. The question- If you were a kitchen appliance what would it be? and why? This question would usually get some interesting facial expressions and sometimes even more interesting answers. The most memorable answer was “a vibrator.”
August 6th, 2009 at 7:26 am
One interview that stands out in my memory did not involve a dumb answer. A young woman came to interview for a position in Inside Sales. She wore her dress inside out. The interview was very short.
August 6th, 2009 at 7:59 am
These are great, and I am very happy to read I am not the only one that interviews weird people.
I actually was given answer #1
#10 and #14 are my faves also.
@KP, good idea on the online application. I am going to use this.
The conversely; what are some of the questions asked that have received the most enlightening answers?
I like asking ‘Tell me about yourself’ while I refresh myself with the application. You get some very interesting ans sometimes over sharing of information.
I also like asking the applicant to walk me through a typical day to see if they were the leader or the doer on the job.
Who else has some revealing question?
August 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
@Kenya McCullum
Why was this person even interviewed? Such a sad use of time!
August 6th, 2009 at 9:02 am
I have received two memorable applications that I will never forget. I work for an agency that provides supports and services to individuals with developmental disabilities. I once received a resume from “The Prophet of God.” He expressed desire to work in our agency since he had hemhroids and knew what it was like to be disabled. Another application answer that always made me giggle was to the question “have you ever been convicted of a felony.” Written response–will know in 2 weeks. Obviously these two never made it to the interview process…..
August 7th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
After walking a particularly annoying, rambling, arrogant candidate to the door, I was surprise to
get a call from Security asking me to come back to the Lobby. There was the applicant, very angry and frustrated stating that her new BMW had been stolen from our parking lot. She had already called the police from her cell phone. Security was trying to get her to calm down and give them a description the car and the plate number. She insisted that she had parked directly in front of the building and even showed the exact spot she parked in – where now a large black SUV was parked.
Security went out into the parking lot to search, in hopes that she might be mistaken and had actually parked in another spot. Sure enough, just as the police arrived they found her car, in front of the
building, parked at an adjacent right angle, facing in another direction – about 20 feet away from where she thought she had parked. After making this scene, she just rushed out of the door, into her car and drove off without a word to anyone. Reaffirmed for me that my first decison to escort her out was a good one!!!
August 10th, 2009 at 7:40 am
You can’t make this stuff up! One applicant asked if you “have to work hard” in this job. Another ate candy out of my candy dish throughout the interview. I kept the interview going to see how long she’d continue. In response to why there was a gap in employment I received the response, “I didn’t feel I should put on the application the reason. I was a prostitute.”
Just remember there are lame-o interviewers out there too. I was in an interview for 45 minutes but I didn’t say much except when he wanted to know about one of my “interests.” I was offered the job. I didn’t take it though because I thought he had no idea what my skills, goals, or potential was or if I even would fit into the team.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:50 am
@Didi
I agree. I hate when the interviewer goes on and on and on. The interview is suppose to be a Q&A, not a soap box.
August 10th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Actually #11 is pretty true – some of those on-line games take a huge amount of leadership and organizational skills with a lot of need to think very quickly and direct a lot of action (delgating tasks) on the fly.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:16 am
My favorite is one time I asked a male candidate to tell me in his opinion what a good working relationship would be like between co-workers. He replied, “Oh, you mean like having sex under the tables and slappin’ each other on the @ss??” I was shocked; he laughed. Needless to say he didn’t get the job.
I also had a candidate sobbing when I asked her to tell me more about herself. Didn’t hire her either.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Young blonde filled out her application and where it asked for Salary Desired she put “of course”
August 12th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Q: Why did you leave your last job?
A: I was fired because I made a nasty remark about ____s (people of a particular religion) and one of the partners overheard me.
The funniest part is the applicant had no clue that I am the same religion, so she was insulting me too!
August 12th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I interviewed a young man and asked why he left his previous landscaping job. His answer was, “the grass quit growing”. He did not get the job.
I also interviewed another gentleman, informed him of our drug screen policy, then asked if he would have a problem submitting a drug screen his answer was, “Oh no ma’am, you see I have made money providing pi** samples to my friends who can’t pass their drug screens. I just pi** in a condom and they tape it to their leg. I know of all kinds of ways to pass drug screens.” The interview ended.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:39 am
I recently received a cover letter from a young recent grad that was very interesting. As a marketing major, the start of her letter made her seem energetic and creative. However, the last paragraph of the letter stated: Now that you’ve had an opportunity to read all about me, I’m sure that you’re ready to get to know me better. Once you see me, you won’t be disappointed. I’m sure you’re curious. Are you willing to take a chance? The next move is yours.
I wanted to call her and tell her to stop using the personal ads as guides for writing her cover letters.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I was questioning a young lady concerning her application to our Workers’ Comp Department, and while attempting to narrow down her specific skills concerning that department, she all of a sudden stated “Well, I’ve been out on W/C on five separate occassions; I know how to play the system. ”
Needless to say, the interview was terminated.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:13 am
“Young blonde filled out her application and where it asked for Salary Desired she put ‘of course’”
LOL! She was just stating the obvious, and what’s wrong with that?
August 12th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Lots of crazy stuff over the last 19+ years in HR.
An applicant completed his application and in the blank that asked convictions, etc the applicant marked NO and then wrote “not really” and continued with “was tried for murder but found not guilty by reason of insanity”.
Another applicant (for an hourly, seasonal position) refused to leave the office after reviewing the available positions he was qualified for because the positions “weren’t good enough”. Told me he wouldn’t leave until I offered him a job…the job he wanted. Had to be physically removed by the police.
When I asked another applicant why he left his last job, he stated because when he got mad he “s&*t his pants”. When the interview ended, he was clearly angry because he sat in my interview chair and clearly “made good” on his previous statement regarding his response to anger.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:19 am
An applicant for my replacement entered the following in response to “Emergency Contact”: Call 911.
She didn’t get the job . . .
August 12th, 2009 at 10:56 am
These are all hilarious. Change of subject – how about excuses for being late or not coming to work? One of the best I’ve heard for being late is that “I fell asleep tying my shoelaces.”
August 12th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Excuse for being late: I passed out on my lawn and only woke up when the sprinklers came on (again). It was odd that 1) the employee thought this was a plausible excuse for being late and that 2) she thought that I would think it normal for this to happen to a person (more than once).
August 12th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I interviewed a woman for a receptionist job. Her first sentence was ” I need the first week of June off.” I appreciate knowing this, but let me introduce myself first. She wasn’t hired.
August 12th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I was interviewing a person for a correctional officer position in a prison. When I asked “What would make you the best candidate for the position?”, his response was “Well I’ve done enough stuff that should have landed me in prison, but I never got caught. So I can be one step ahead of them because I know how they think. Also I think I probably already know a few of them from county jail so they’ll trust me”. Do you think passing on him was a mistake ????
August 31st, 2009 at 6:05 pm
My favorite response on a job application a couple of years ago was by a gentleman who had responded to a question on our application regarding patient care skills by stating that he felt extremely qualified because he had never missed an episode of House. The rest of the story is that because he was not called for an interview based on his application which provided no evidence of hospital or medical experience or training, he called my office (HR) and left a very hostile voice message stating that he expected to receive an interview for the job opening and if I did not contact him immediately he would not accept a position with our hospital. Needless to say, I did not call…
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 am
One of my favorites was the college grad who was applying for a management position. She actually attached a photo showing herself (full length shot) in a very tiny bikini at the beach. Seriously???
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:51 am
I had an applicant come in to complete his criminal background check form. Of course he checked no convictions on his application. Jesus must have appeared to him while he completed the form because he proceeded to tell me that he “had a conviction for possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance, but I found Jesus and I’m a changed man.”
I asked if there was anything else I needed to know. “Yes ma’am, the next year I was convicted of aggravated battery, but again, I found Jesus and I’m a changed man.”
Getting a little nervous I said well, is there anything else I need to know? “well, yes ma’am, I was convicted of 1st degree manslaughter because I killed my best friend.”
At that point I figured he obviously hadn’t found Jesus and now my focus was getting him out of my 3rd floor office which was about the size of an audio closet AND there was no one else on my floor because everyone was out on sales calls. After the longest 15 minutes of my life finally the guy said I know you won’t call me and he stood up looked around and then finally sulked out of my office. I NEVER brought anyone up to my office again!
December 31st, 2009 at 10:06 am
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