When someone on the job is getting married, there are rules about what’s OK and what isn’t.

Q: Should I tell my boss?
A: Yes, but beware of TMI - Too Much Information. It’s polite to tell the boss that you’re getting married, since he or she will probably hear about it  anyway, but hold back on the nitty-gritty details. The boss may ask a few polite question, but be aware that’s all they are - polite questions. Don’t take them as an invitation to tell all. 

Q: Speaking of invitations, should I invite the boss?
A: That’s a tricky one, and it depends on your relationship with the boss. The general answer is yes, unless the wedding is so small that you’re limiting attendance to close friends and family. 

Q: And what about inviting co-workers?
A: Again, that’s tricky and there are no rules about it. If you regularly socialize with some co-workers, then you’ll probably want to invite them. If you work in a small department, you’re asking for trouble if you invite some people in the department and not others. 

Q: What about the “gray area” people I don’t invite - those I’m friendly with at work but not really friends? Should I tell them they’re not invited?
A: It’s a good idea to sit down with those people and explain that because of limitations of space or money, you couldn’t invite everyone but that you still value their friendship. 

Q: Is it bad form to discuss any of the details of the wedding at work?
A: When in doubt about what’s OK, talk less. Going on and on about the details of the wedding or mentioning invitations in front of those who aren’t invited are examples of too much. 

Q: Are spouses or significant others always invited?
A: You betcha. You’re risking trouble if you invite someone from work but exclude the person’s partner.

Tags: co-workers, tmi, wedding, workplace