Periodically, we ask three HR managers how they’d handle a difficult situation at work. Today’s problem: You and other employees spot signs of domestic abuse.

The scene

HR manager Lynne Blakely looked up from her desk at the sound of the tap on her doorway and saw Sandy, an administrative assistant with the company.

“Got a minute to talk, Lynne?” she said.

“Sure,” she smiled as he pushed aside a pile of papers. “What’s up?”

Sandy closed the door and sat down as she spoke: “I’ll get right to the point. What should I do if I suspect that another employee is the victim of domestic abuse?”

‘Oh, it’s nothing’
Lynne ignored her ringing phone and said, “Of course, this is confidential, so let me ask: Who’s the employee?”

“That’s what makes the situation even more difficult,” Sandy replied. “It’s Gina, my boss.”

Lynne had had her suspicions about Gina, too, but stayed silent and let Sandy continue.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Gina’s been wearing a lot of makeup lately, and last week she wore her prescription sunglasses every day instead of her regular glasses,” Sandy continued. “I think it’s because she’s covering up her bruises.”

Lynne nodded. Sandy’s observations confirmed her own.

“Of course, I don’t see Gina as much as you do,” Lynne noted. “Is it really that bad, and do you really think she’s the victim of domestic abuse?”

“It’s bad, and Gina won’t talk to anyone about it,” Sandy said. “When I asked her about one of the bruises, she just said, ‘Oh, it’s nothing, just an accident at home.’”

If you were Lynne, what would you do about the situation with Gina?

Willie Kelly, HR director, Mt. Laurel, NJ
What Willie would do:  I’d look into whatever employee-assistance programs we have available and sit down one-on-one and inform the employee about the opportunities, including help with any kinds of “domestic” problems, without mentioning abuse specifically.
Reason: In these situations, I think it’s best to approach the problem by mentioning the help available, rather than confronting someone with what you suspect (which may or may not be true). After that, it’s up to the employee.

Kent McPherson, HR director, Memphis, TN
What Kent would do: In a private meeting, I’d speak to the employee, tell her that I’ve seen signs of abuse and ask if the company could help in some way. If she opened up about it, I would work with her to get the help. If she said she didn’t need help, I would leave it at that.
Reason: I think she might want to know that there are obvious signs others have noticed and there’s help for her if she wants it. That leaves the door open for her if there is a problem and if she decides she needs help.

Linda Russo, HR director, Holden, MA
What Linda would do: We have a lot of literature about our employee-assistance program’s counseling program for abused women. I’d be sure to hand some of the literature to Gina and say, “Let’s talk for a minute after you’ve read this.” If she later agreed to talk, I’d proceed as she saw fit. If she didn’t respond at first, well, at least she has the information she needs to take action.
Reason: The information and a few words from me can serve as a reminder that there’s assistance available if she wants it. That’s about as far as you can go.

Tags: counseling, domestic abuse, employee-assistance