Comments on: The worst workplace bullies (Hint: not men)

By: Anonymous in FL

Anonymous in FL — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:36:52 +0000

As for my experience, I actually have someone, (a woman) who works for me who fits this article’s description. You never know when you speak to her what type of mood she is going to be in. She is OK with everyone else, except for me, (her boss), and then she speaks to me in a degrading manner. I have talked with her before and it will get better. Now we are to a point that she is disrespectful, (but it is not enough as I could write her up). I hate coming to work to deal with her! One of the problems I have found is that she is very jealous and she does not like anyone to tell her what to do. She also thinks that she needs to be in charge and is very critical when someone makes a mistake. I am going to be changing departments soon and I cannot wait because I will no longer supervise this person!

By: nr

nr — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:38:05 +0000

I have worked with plenty of bullies in my career. It is my experience that neither men nor women dominate this behavior. What is different is their method of bullying. Men use physical intimidation whereas women employ verbal abuse. The best response is to remain calm and professional and document all incidents. It is pointless to respond to these people. They are out of control. Documentation should be factual (leave out the emotion), include dates, times and witnesses, be presented in alignment with company policies, and demonstrate how the behavior affects the company’s bottom line (for example, how much turnover costs a company). When you feel sufficient incidents have been recorded, take them to your HR department or upper management. It is management’s responsibility to enforce its policies. If the behavior continues, start looking for another position or, if possible, terminate your employment. Never tolerate this behavior. You do have options. It may take a little longer, but even in this economy quality professionals will find another position.

By: Kt

Kt — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:38:59 +0000

I think Sabrina made an extremely qualified statement regarding the insecure people . “Grow Up”
How do we say this without being bullies? It is very difficult to point out such negative issues with an employee without sounding ridiculous to yourself. Sabrina said it right, it will take so much energy and time to try to keep everyone in a positive mode. These women and men are not perfectionists as they proclaim. They are the ones that balance their checkbooks and play on the internet half of the workday, then they worry someone is mad or upset with them because coworkers are aware of what they are doing and not doing. In my mind , this is a waste of company time, not to mention the state of mind the gossipers and the playing employees put into the actual good employees and “actual perfectionist” like the ones that do such a magnificient job plus keep clean offices and still have time to have a cup of coffee with associates. When you walk by someone playing on the computer and their desk is an absolute mess, there is basically nothing you can say without coming across as a bad supervisor. I have taken conflict seminars and still will never know how to talk with a coworker with tears in her eyes thinking someone is mad at her for who knows what. I know this sounds cold, cold ,cold, I will never know how to handle this kind of an issue. I enjoy reading so many comments from professionals as yoou all are. I never think it is to late to learn something new.

By: sabrina

sabrina — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 12:51:59 +0000

I have to agree with karen that insecure women are worse than the bullies. I work in a facility where it is about 1/2 and 1/2. 1/2-good workers and 1/2 insecure. the insecure ones wear me out because if there is any comment made that is not directed in a fabulous light (not just good, fabulous) then it has to be because I or whomever does not like them, not because there is a genuine need for improvement. If someone calls to speak to me and my coworker learns about it she wants to be reassured that person is not mad at her because they did not speak with her. We are talking like an 1 hour long session. I want to just scream “Grow up-we don’t have time for this”
instead I have to smooth it over because it will be heck to pay for the next few days. The ones in my dept that have this insecurity often say its because they are perfectionists and thats the reason they are the way they are. Ugghh!! I just think to myself whatever helps you sleep at night. Out loud I just agree because of the position I am in and pray for them ( and me!!!)

By: KJ

KJ — Mon, 25 May 2009 14:34:15 +0000

Why are all states not involed in the “Bully Laws”. The state of South Carolina hold of course every other law pertaining to employee rights, or they at least try to appear they do.
Someone that is very close to me worked for a Myrtle Beach SC company. Due to the economy she worked as long as she possibly could under a “Supervisor” that would curse, scream, and yell at her constantly. Her clients loved her and she increased the number of clientele by leaps and bounds. This supervisor was a male, very over weight and obviously extremely insecure about his weight and also a woman that could run circles around his performance. This young woman was in a high management position. She went to the owner of the company and he did nothing. After having a miscarriage she went back to work. She lost the baby due to the high intensity of the stress. She did not quit her job, again it was due to the economy. Later on she decided to have another baby. This insecure, arrogant man started his yelling again. One day in tears she quit her job because she and her husband feared she would have another miscarriage. She went to the Labor Board and told them the entire story but noone within the company would stand up and tell the truth due to the fear of loosing their job. The owner of the company made a statement one day that was , “He would never hire anyone that was intending to have a family.” This was two years ago and she has still not found a job. By the way she had a beautiful healthy boy.
Where are the laws in a state that will only beleive what the upper management states?
Similiar situations have occurred since she left the company. This guy that does this stuff has been fired fron two other companies in our area. Other companies can not say anything because of the fear in being sued.
I think it is absolutely amazing when employees witness this kind of thing and do not stand up for the person whom is targeted at that “given” moment. This young woman can not use this company for a reference. Of course they will not give any negative response, there is a certain way a person can answer “Would You Rehire?”
I am the Director of Sales and Marketing for an extremely large company and I would never raise my voice or act in an unprofessional manner with my associates.
All of the people that this young woman worked with are gone except for two. These are the gossiping and trouble makers who dwell on strife going on within an office.
You have had a tremendous amount of highly qualified and intelligent individuals respond to this subject. I would love to hear some feedback on this. I have been in my business for a very long time and I always pick up something valuable from the professionals that respond to issues in the work place. Thank You, Sincerely, KJ

By: LDR

LDR — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:33:52 +0000

I have read these postings with a great deal of personal interest, as in the last two years I have been the object of some intense harassment (bullying) from women supervisors. I am older and more educated and experienced, but also (I am told) a more savvy supervisor. I also question what appear to be bad decisions or ignorance in an area such as HR decision that could lead to serious repercussions to the organization. I ask these questions in as neutral manner as possible (not my initial reaction: are you insane?…) but the perceived threat from me is quite apparent, and I am learning to deal ever more carefully, always telling myself ‘they just don’t know any better’ without dwelling too much on ‘nor do they seem to care to learn’. I appreciate the comments about individuals not being able to let go, and want to remind readers that not just women but also men can hold grudges and seek payment or vengeance for some slight, indiscretion, or ‘failure to perform.’

By: PW

PW — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:02:21 +0000

I have to agree with SL, kill them with kindness. I too have went through many bosses in the 20 years where I work and I have outlasted all of them and have earned more respect with all of the workers here because I have not changed my ways. I have always stood for what I believed in but have always voiced my opinion when it was safe to do so or I have kept to myself and let the other workers spout off. And with bosses I have seen it both ways…Men and Women who are bitter and will step all over you. Men can be just as bad!

By: Kt

Kt — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:34:39 +0000

I just opened this email and it is very interesting. It is obvious so very many intelligent men and women
read the articles and all have such valid statements to make.
I have been in my position for almost thirty years. I have had the pleasure of working with some of
the most professional and the most qualified in our line of work. I have also worked with some real jokes that brought so much turmoil into the workplace that it was difficult to work at times. The smart and profesional ones can see through this behavior in a second. That is why the bullies
and gossipers never have the good salaries and the executive positions, but for a short time. Sooner or later true colors shine. It is very difficult to fake knowing and doing a job for an entire career. So many times it is the bully or gossipers positions that have to be covered by the professionals. I know the status of our economy is terrible right now. One good thing that could possibly come out of this is people can not stand around and gossip and be stupid and talk about petty junk. I still work with a couple that do this but they are on their way out if the economy gets worse. Has anyone ever had to listen to two women talk about something so petty for forty-five minutes while the phone rings off the hooks and others have to take messages and pick up the slack? We have to be so careful about what we say or the tone of our voice. After thirty years I still find it difficult to just say,”I do know care what you did last night, I do not care to hear how much you drank, or which man you were with, so on, and so on.” The minute someone in higher management than I walks in and they are the perfect little employees. There is only so much one can document without coming across as being a whiner yourself thus turning upper management againt the one reporting the extravagant waste of time. It is hard the beleive the lazy employees band together and cover for each other. I personally would never ask someone to lie for me. So we good employees that have worked for so long in our positions genuinely care about customer service, the way we act, talk, walk and the way our customer views us when they walk in the door.

By: Miranda

Miranda — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:48:48 +0000

Thanks for the advice, Judy. She dropped comments sometimes about feeling “trapped” and “unhappy” at the workplace…so it felt like we were all losing out on having a good environment to be in, it was such a waste. She was incredibly intelligent, so I found it bizarre that she was unable to cope with the workload and constantly on the edge. I was going to complain about it, but she told me once “we all stick together”, and grinned (she targets people when she’s alone in a room with them or with the submissive secretary). I don’t think I will ever really know what went on there, it was a bit surreal. Luckily I’m not there anymore. I just learned to focus on better people.

By: Judy Buckley

Judy Buckley — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 23:18:54 +0000

Miranda – Wow! You’re sure this woman was “pretending to be insane/schizophrenic” – and does she not have a supervisor? Somebody needs to sit her down – that behavior is not acceptable. If she is truly ill (and schizophrenia is no joke) she needs to be guided to help (and probably some meds) which could control symptoms. If she truly does this to freak people out, she’s “sick” in a different way and still should be directed to get help. This is where the progressive discipline process comes in. I feel for you for having to be subjected to such a thoroughly unpleasant environment. It’s not normal and if you’re still in that environment and she’s still acting out, the line is drawn here – you might consider reporting her behavior (specific examples, and hopefully witnessed or corroborated) to her supervisor.