An employee storms into your office, angry and ready to chew nails – or to chew out someone’s behind. Three steps by you can cool the situation.
Dealing with employee anger – it’s almost the first line of an HR manager’s job description.
Often, doing that part of the job may seem like you need Job’s patience and Freud’s
psychiatry skills. Consider, though, that calming others down isn’t impossible if you
take a few practical steps when dealing with their anger.
Here’s a practical three-step approach that’s recommended by clinical psychologist Hendrie Weisinger in his book The Power of Positive Criticism:
1. Get them to sit down. As the saying goes, “Motion builds emotion.” And, remember, your first job is to lower the emotional level of the situation. So stop the motion.
If you find the other person pacing or fidgeting, try to get them to take a seat and stay still for a while. That’s a good start.
2. Water works! Ever notice that police and emergency-response personnel often offer people a drink of water after they’ve been through a difficult experience?
That’s because water has a calming effect on the brain. Also, emotion creates thirst and
discomfort – which feeds anger. Quench their thirst and you’ll douse some of their anger.
Note: Don’t offer them coffee or other caffeinated drinks. They increase thirst and emotion.
3. Use listening to let the storm blow itself out. Angry people want to use words to express themselves. Let them do it with as little interruption as possible.
Give them the space to talk and try not to challenge them with penetrating questions or opposing points. Those are interpreted as verbal jabs that invite an angry counterpunch.
Try to give them nonverbal cues that you’re listening – a simple nod works wonders.
