The funny side of HR: 9 worst excuses for being late

Saying you “got stuck in traffic” is s-o-o-o-o 1990s. We have nine better excuses that, if nothing else, will make the boss laugh.
Courtesy of careerbuilder.com, actual excuses given by the tardy (with equally silly commentary given by us):
1. “I got lost in the fog when I was rowing to work.”
(Presumably employed in London or on the HMS Bounty.)
2. “I wasn’t thinking and accidentally went to my old job.”
(Try the same thing tomorrow and stay there.)
3. “Someone stole my daffodils.”
(Now, that’s something all of us can relate to.)
4. “My ex-husband stole my car and I couldn’t drive to work.”
(So, if he has a car, why couldn’t he give you a lift?)
5. “My route to work was shut down by the presidential motorcade.”
(But, uh, the president isn’t in town.)
6. “I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.”
(Sorry, that one’s taken by Martha Stewart.)
7. “The line was too long at Starbucks.”
(We hope you picked up a job app while you were there.)
8. “I was trying to get my gun back from the police.”
(You just can never find a cop when you need one.)
9. “I didn’t have money for gas because all the pawn shops were closed.”
(We can see this being an ongoing problem, what with your now not owning a wristwatch.)