As if they really needed help, employees can sharpen their sick-out skills with some online pointers. And as always, HRB has our own cynical look.
“My dog got sprayed by a skunk. I have to take him to the vet for a special bath to get the stink off of him.”
Unlike what follows in this story, that’s a real reason a friend of HRB had to take a sudden sick day.
For the non-pet owners out there who have to rely on such unimaginative excuses as personal sickness, there’s help on the Web.
Www.holytaco.com has a five-point guide for employees looking to enjoy a spring baseball game or just lounge around the house.
The Web site advises that choosing an illness is important. Suggestions include pink eye, stomach flu and sprained ankle (but that one requires an accessory).
For people who lack acting experience (and no, playing a tree in your first-grade pageant doesn’t count), holytaco includes a script, complete with the correct times for heavy sighs.
Possibly the most important trick to make sure employees get away with sick days is to let “symptoms” linger. Miraculous recoveries are suspect, after all.
Some snarkier (but also practical) advice comes from www.asylum.com. “Don’t call in sick while you’re still drunk with your buddies from the night before. They will not be quiet enough, and they will get you fired.”
