What’s the best way to deal with workplace romances?
Quick Answer
Develop and implement a policy that reaffirms your commitment to a harassment-free workplace and bans romantic relationships between superiors and subordinates. Ensure the policy bans relationship-related workplace behavior that disrupts business operations and provides examples of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
Have the parties sign a document that confirms the relationship is consensual, sets workplace expectations in light of the relationship and tells them how to report alleged harassment stemming from the relationship.
Legal Perspective
Shulman Rogers
Potomac, Maryland
Work is where many people spend most of their waking hours, says employment law attorneys Meredith Campbell and Joy Epstein of Shulman Rogers, so we must recognize that romance in the workplace does happen.
That said, it’s important to implement rules prohibiting romantic relationships in certain situations — for example, between a boss and a subordinate. If there is no power dynamic between the individuals in the relationship, your primary concern is to ensure that the relationship is and remains consensual.
You might want to consider a “cupid contract” or other signed document that confirms that both parties consent to the relationship and acknowledge that either can leave the relationship with no adverse impact at work. You should include a reminder against retaliation as well as a reminder that if either party feels an action violates the company’s anti-harassment or anti-discrimination policy, they should let HR know so the company can investigate and take appropriate action.
The document should also remind the employees that the company reserves the right to transfer or terminate employment for either or both employees if the relationship becomes a distraction for co-workers or if things change, and as a result, both employees cannot remain in their current role.
If the working relationship does not work, you might want to meet with both employees and ask them to decide who needs to transfer to a new job (or maybe out of the company). If circumstances permit, it’s always better to have the employee volunteer for the adverse action.
Last, if you decide to implement a romance-disclosure policy, one of the first questions you will face is: At what point does the relationship have to be disclosed? This is a tough one, but we suggest writing the policy to encourage early disclosure to HR. You don’t need to hear about every flirtation, but if co-workers are on a second date, it’s probably time to disclose.
HR needs to build an environment of trust because sometimes these secrets are especially difficult to share (for example, if someone is engaged in extra-marital romance or is in an LGBTQ+ relationship and is not yet out at work).
Relevant Case Law
Owens v. Old Wisconsin Sausage Co., Inc.
Ayers-Jennings v. Fred’s Inc.
Cram v. Lamson & Sessions Co.
HR Insight
Global Recruiters of Buckhead
Atlanta, Georgia
Establish guidelines that will keep everything on the up and up, advises Michael D. Brown, a Recruiting and Leadership Consultant in Georgia. Create an employee prenup of sorts: what happens before, is allowed during, and comes after the relationship.
Stressing that companies need to decide what’s in bounds and what’s out, Brown suggests the following four-step strategy:
- Implement a policy regarding in-house relationships. Explain the policy to new employees during the onboarding process. Make sure everyone already on board knows about the policy. Then stick to it.
- Limit hierarchy. No relationships with direct subordinates or superiors. If someone is in another’s chain of command, that relationship can’t exist. No exceptions here, either. This rule might mean breaking up a team, rather than the relationship. Employees might need to be moved laterally; supervisors may need to take on other responsibilities. To be clear, the employee with less power should not always be transferred.
- Encourage transparency. Colleagues in romantic or sexual relationships should be required to share that information with HR. They need to know HR isn’t there to judge or pry too deeply into their personal circumstances. The company has a stake in ensuring the relationship doesn’t interfere with business in any way. So, employees who don’t tell need to be privately held accountable if found out.
- Clarify limits. In this post #MeToo world, all employees should understand that no means no. Even so, companies should preemptively address the issue of soliciting a relationship. When an employee pursues a colleague, and the answer is “no,” then it’s a hard no. A second solicitation starts edging toward harassment, so it cannot be allowed.
L&R Human Resource Consulting LLC
Bossier City, Louisiana
The best way to deal with workplace romances is to have a policy that addresses the company’s office relationships, says HR Consultant Mary Webber.
Be sure that employees of higher and lower positions are not managing or supervising the other. If there is no policy violation, be sure that affected parties maintain decorum and professionalism.
SuccessFuel
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
To avoid potential harassment claims, it’s best to have a relationship policy and have a contract agreement of the policy signed by both parties involved, explains VP of HR Jackie Plunkett.
This document can offer protection to the employees involved and the company by setting forth expected conduct and behavior both during and after the relationship ends. The document should cover that the relationship is consensual, expectations of public work daily behavior, potential reporting relationships and a reminder about any other relative policies, such as harassment, EEO and nepotism.
Key Takeaways
- Develop a policy outlining the rules applicable to romantic relationships at work.
- Communicate the policy during the onboarding process.
- State in the policy that it applies regardless of sexual orientation.
- Encourage early disclosure of the relationship to HR.
- Ban romantic relationships between superiors and subordinates.
- State in the policy that behavior hindering business operations is prohibited.
- Provide examples of acceptable behavior, such as arriving for work together, leaving work together and engaging in casual conversation in the same manner as other employees.
- Provide examples of unacceptable behavior, such as excessive conversation and inappropriate touching.
- Have employees in a permissible romantic relationship affirm in writing that the relationship is consensual; that they know how to report alleged harassment stemming from the relationship to you; and that they are aware of and understand your sexual harassment policies.
- Assure employees that you will take prompt investigative and remedial action if they report alleged harassment stemming from the relationship to you.
- Reassure employees who are in a permissible romantic relationship that you will be discreet about the relationship.