The funny side of HR: 9 worst excuses for being late
May 1, 2008 by Jim GiulianoPosted in: Behavior, Communication, In this week's e-newsletter, Latest News & Views, Management
Saying you “got stuck in traffic” is s-o-o-o-o 1990s. We have nine better excuses that, if nothing else, will make the boss laugh.
Courtesy of careerbuilder.com, actual excuses given by the tardy (with equally silly commentary given by us):
1. “I got lost in the fog when I was rowing to work.”
(Presumably employed in London or on the HMS Bounty.)
2. “I wasn’t thinking and accidentally went to my old job.”
(Try the same thing tomorrow and stay there.)
3. “Someone stole my daffodils.”
(Now, that’s something all of us can relate to.)
4. “My ex-husband stole my car and I couldn’t drive to work.”
(So, if he has a car, why couldn’t he give you a lift?)
5. “My route to work was shut down by the presidential motorcade.”
(But, uh, the president isn’t in town.)
6. “I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.”
(Sorry, that one’s taken by Martha Stewart.)
7. “The line was too long at Starbucks.”
(We hope you picked up a job app while you were there.)
8. “I was trying to get my gun back from the police.”
(You just can never find a cop when you need one.)
9. “I didn’t have money for gas because all the pawn shops were closed.”
(We can see this being an ongoing problem, what with your now not owning a wristwatch.)
Tags: careerbuilder.com, London, martha stewart, president, starbucks
May 12th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Another absence excuse:
I had an employee call in that he would be late…he locked himself in the garage.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:49 am
The elevator to the fifth floor is slow. By a half hour. Every morning.
May 20th, 2008 at 8:29 am
I had to take my pot bellied pig to the “sty-chiatrist” – don’t laugh, I actually got told that!
May 20th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I couldn’t find my hair brush.
May 21st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I couldn’t get out because a huge tree trunk was blocking the driveway.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I asked one of my employees once why he was late and he said, “I had to stop and get cigarettes.” I told him he got a pass for honesty but next time he needed to come up with something better.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I thought that it was Saturday.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:20 am
I was getting into my car and noticed that I had left the sunroof open overnight, this caused moisture to build up within the car, upon driving to work, the rush of air into the vehicle caused and atmospheric condition resulting in dense fog within the vehicle, causing me to return home…. This was a real excuse
September 8th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
When asked why she was late an employee stated she didn’t have any clean underwear. I must of had a look of disbelief on my face because she quickly followed up with, “I am wearing a pair of my husband’s!”
September 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I actually had an employee tell me he was late because he got fried the night before. (meaning drugs)!
And I also had one tell me that she was late because her kids had scabies!
September 8th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
“We have only been married two months” And my husband wouldn’t let me out of bed”..
October 20th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
“When I woke up this morning my bed was on fire….I’ll be about 20 minutes late.” or… “They found a dead body near my hose and the police will probably want to question me”
I started a log, excluding names , of all the best excuses and I get them out to read them when I need a good laugh.
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:56 pm
My cat is peeing blood.
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
An employee called into tell me that he would be late because he had a bone in his foot. I replied that we all have bones in our feet. Then he clarified that he had stepped on a chicken bone while feeding his dogs…
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
I had an employee tell me one time that he was late because he was partying the night before, got drunk, went home with some random girl, woke up at her house, had no idea where he was, and got lost trying to get back to his house to get ready for work! She actually lived in another state, about 55 miles from his house! I was stern with him, but when he left my office, I had a good laugh!