Most people agree that rudeness on the job is becoming the norm. One person says he has the cure for the three worst examples.
That person is P.M Forni, a professor at Johns Hopkins University, who says he has the answers in his new book, “The Civility Solution: What to Do When People are Rude.”
Forni cites common situations of rudeness, and how to deal with them:
Another person takes credit for your work.
In as calm a voice as possible, say to the person, “You failed to mention that a good part of the report was done by my office under my direction. It was a collaborative effort, and I think the boss had the impression instead that the bulk of the work was done by your group. I think we should rectify that impression.” That puts the burden on that person to send an e-mail to the boss with a “CC” to you.
If the culprit is reluctant to set the record straight, then you go one rung up the ladder and you explain to the supervisor what happened and say that you owe it to yourself and to your team that she, the boss, know exactly how the plan came into being. You do this without being judgmental about what the colleague did, without using harsh words, without revisiting in a blaming way what your colleague did or did not do. Stay focused on the issue that this is the version of the facts that the boss needs to hear.
A co-worker doesn’t follow through on a commitment.
Try the S-I-R approach – State the problem; explain the “I” effect, or how the failure affected you; Request a change in behavior. For instance: “You didn’t finish the report when you said you would. That meant I had to push back or delay all the jobs I was working on. I’d like you to pay more attention to deadlines or let me know well in advance if you’re having a problem meeting the deadline.”
Someone keeps sending you too many “joke” e-mails.
Simply send an e-mail to the person and say, “John, as much as I appreciate your willingness to keep in contact, the commitments of my work these days are such that I have trouble enough keeping up with my work-related e-mail, let alone trying to find time to read for pleasure. So I want to tell you I cannot find the time to look at correspondence that is not strictly related to work. And so I hope you will understand if I do not give you feedback on what you are sending me. Maybe for the time being, at least, you may want to cease and desist, so to speak.”
