7 Ways to Handle Argumentative Employees

Some employees like to play devil’s advocate. Others need to ask lots of questions to understand.

And some — perhaps the most difficult to handle — are simply argumentative employees.

These employees won’t stop arguing about … well, everything.

Argumentative Employees Don’t Recognize It

Not only will they argue about anything. They’ll argue with anyone. And while the boss is most often the target, they argue with co-workers, subordinates (if they have any) and — god forbid — clients.

They may not be bullies, per se, but they often bully their thoughts and opinions into just about everything. What’s more, argumentative people don’t usually notice their contrary stance.

Instead, they only feel they’re trying to assert themselves to show independence or push forward their agenda. They’re often so blinded by their views that they can’t see there are other views.

So, if you have an argumentative employee (or many), and you’re a boss, you likely want to know how to cool the conditions.

Here’s a rundown:

1. Be Quick

Managers want to deal with these employees quickly to prevent the behavior from worsening.

The longer you let a person who defaults to an argument go, the more likely they will become even more convinced their opinion is the right one. All. The. Time.

2. Be Respectful

We aren’t going to kid you: This could be one of the more difficult parts of a conversation with a chronic arguer. But you need to communicate with them in a respectful way. That means keeping an even tone and positive demeanor.

You also want to discuss the problem based on facts rather than emotions. Focus on exactly what’s happened or has been said, not on how those things make you or anyone else feel.

3. Be Specific

You’ll want to arm yourself with specific examples of overly argumentative interactions when you address the situation. Granted, one situation may be so escalated that you must step in immediately, and you’ll need to address just that.

But, if you’re going to have a sit-down conversation to cover many incidents, keep and use notes on times and places where the employee was argumentative and who else was involved.

4. Be Neutral

People who argue a lot have one thing in common: They believe they’re always right. And they argue to prove their point … to themselves first, then to whoever else is within earshot.

While you don’t have to agree with them or argue with them, you do want to settle the situation. The best way is to say something neutral. Try, “This is interesting, and I believe we both should think on it.”

That often gives them pause in their litany and may help them straighten out their train of thought.

5. Be Corrective

When you’re in a situation where you have to shut down an argumentative person at work, use the above tips to address them.

Here’s a sample of what to say:

Jamie, in the past two weeks you have grown to be argumentative and have become an obstructionist. On Friday in the group meeting, you attacked Kate’s idea and raised your voice when she tried to explain it. Then, on Monday, in front of the client, you disagreed with their timeline when we all had agreed ahead of time we’d be flexible.

Jamie, we need to get on with the job here, and your constant arguments are holding us up. We have heard your arguments and considered them. We have explained why we have decided to go forward with Kate’s plan and the client’s timeline. We need everyone’s cooperation for that plan to succeed. The time for arguments is past. Do you understand and can I have your agreement that we will go forward and pull together on this?

6. Be Strategic

Sometimes, you have to deal with the argumentative person in the moment, not just correct them for repeated issues.

That’s when you want to be strategic with questions and pause. They can make a profound difference. When things start to escalate:

• Ask more questions. Get them to think rationally by asking questions like, “What do you mean?” or “Why do you feel that way?” to show interest in their feelings and thoughts.
• Pause for a few seconds. Silence makes people uncomfortable, possibly enough to make them reflect on their behavior. It also gives you and the arguer time to process, think and be more intentional.
• Use delay tactics. Try delay tactics to further stretch out a silence. Say something like, “I’m just thinking” or “Give me a second to consider that.” Or stop the entire conversation by saying, “Let me get back to you after I’ve had some time to consider what you said.”

7. Finally: Don’t Ask for Their Opinion

Yes, yes, good managers are supposed to get feedback from employees. But when you’re dealing with a chronic argumentative employee, the less asked and said is better.

And if they ask for your opinion, do what you can to skip giving it. Naturally, you have to respond when the opinion question is related to their work. Outside of that, stick with neutral phrases such as, “That’s interesting. I’m confident you’ll figure it out,” or “You seem to care a lot about this and will make the decision that works best for you.”