5 Tips to Talk About The Weird Things at Work

Age. Health. Politics. Money.

We don’t talk about them in the workplace — or at least, we aren’t supposed to talk about them in the workplace.

But what if we hit them straight on? What if we talk about the weird things we think we shouldn’t talk about — like how much money we make, how old we are, a political move and when we want to have babies?

It might actually be better. That’s what one Harvard Business School researcher and lecturer suggests — and she gives us tips to talk about them.

“What do you speak about with colleagues?” asks Christina Wing, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration at Harvard. “Weather, food, sports, and sometimes vacations. What we don’t talk about is succession, death, age, sex, health, money — so many things that affect our ability to do our jobs. Yet we want our leaders to be authentic, empathetic people we want to follow. If we don’t talk about anything that’s real, how can they do their jobs, and why would we follow them?”

Tips to Talk About the Weird Things

Her point: We need to talk about the things we usually think are taboo within the confines of work. Fortunately, Wing has strategies to talk about anything with tact and professionalism.

And that’s important because, she says, “We’ve spent so much time talking about what we shouldn’t talk about that we never spend time talking about what we should talk about.”

So go ahead and tackle money, politics, age and beyond with these tips. And that’s the important part: Use these tips to talk with tact, dignity and respect with your colleagues.

Address It Head-on

You don’t want to let seemingly sensitive topics fester — for instance, a pay raise, a family planning issue or a political concern. They only get worse the longer you stew.

Getting it out in the open and potentially resolved early can help make the conversation more comfortable and efficient.

For instance, Wing says, it’s better for a 50-year-old manager who reports to a 64-year-old boss to address career succession and the boss’s retirement than stew over fear of not advancing.

Call for a Meeting

When you want to talk about a subject that’s potentially weird, give the other person or people at least 24 hours’ notice. And lay out what you want to address. Let them know you want to have a professional conversation about an important topic — not an argument about an injustice.

This gives them time to prepare and shows you’re interested in a productive, non-confrontational conversation.

For example, if you want to talk about how much money you make — and a desire for more — you might say, “Boss, I’d like to meet tomorrow afternoon to discuss my current salary and why I believe I deserve better compensation. Can you be prepared to listen to my thoughts and discuss this important topic?”

After all, most leaders would prefer to have this conversation and respond to it than lose people to better-paying jobs.

Get Together in a Neutral Spot

You definitely want to have these conversations in person. Email, text and communication apps leave a lot of room for miscommunication.

In-person meetings are also more professional. And remember: Just because it’s an awkward topic (at first), doesn’t mean it’s controversial. You should have open conversations on topics that affect the company and its employees.

So, if you want to address some political issues you think might affect your organization or employees, ask to meet in a conference room. You still want to skip voting records and political party affiliations, but “you shouldn’t completely self-censor when it comes to discussing geopolitical issues that might impact the business,” says Wing.

Stay Focused on the Goal

Know what you want to accomplish and keep that single goal in mind during the conversation. In some cases, you may just want to be heard because you’re concerned about or interested in what’s next. In most situations, you’ll likely want to accomplish something.

Say, for instance, a woman is concerned her plans to have children will affect her promotion hopes (yes, this is one of those conversations that seem like we shouldn’t have, but it’s important to have). She’ll want to focus on the desired outcome that she shares with her boss — the same opportunities at promotions while she takes maternity leave. She might say, “My husband and I plan to have children in the coming years. So while I might have to step away a few times over the coming years for maternity leave, I’m focused on growing my career. I’d like to talk about opportunities to keep progressing.”

Outline the Next Steps

Most of these conversations should lead to next steps — the exception being when someone just needs to get something off their chest.

So, assuming you set an agenda and stayed focused on the goal, you’ll want to leave the conversation with a clear plan to move ahead.

For instance, if it’s a geopolitical conversation, you might set a plan to gather more details and implications to present to a larger group of leaders. If it’s a chat about family planning, you might decide to create a career path that includes time for leave. Or if it’s a compensation conversation, you may need to spend time creating new, higher goals and a plan to achieve them before a salary review.